Looking Back or Ahead?

After leaving the Cedarly Retreat Center, I decided to take a journey down memory lane (with Leann’s consent).  We traveled back to the Chicago area and drove through the Western Suburbs where I worked and lived while working for Exxon.  Oakbrook, Downers Grove, and Naperville had changed significantly over the past 20 years, but still offered some occasional glimpses of places I remembered.  I pointed to buildings where I used to work, restaurants I frequented, and other points of interest, at least for me (LeAnn was very tolerant). 

One significant change was the flow of the toll roads that are prevalent throughout the Western Suburbs of Chicago.  When I lived there, everything was either exact change automated toll booths or cash at employee manual booths.  Now, electronic sensored toll areas were predominant, much like the ones we have around Houston with EZ Tag.  Unfortunately, as outsiders from out of state, we had to use the manual booths that took much longer to navigate due to the lines and longer transactions.  This was a vast improvement for the folks with the automated sensors versus those of us bogged down in the cash lanes.  I still remember vividly the automotive ballet that predominantly typified the old exact change booths of two decades ago.  I also remember the chaos associated with the outsider who didn’t have the change ready when they got to the booth or missed the receiver with their coin toss.  It would initiate a symphony of horns from the impatient insiders behind them.

I actually found my way to the home I had owned in the Naperville/Aurora area.  Though the area had grown and changed significantly, the house where I once lived looked eerily the same, although a bit older.  I missed the green spaces and the openness that once characterized this area.  Yet, it displayed a new vibrancy and offered many more amenities than it used to provide.  In the midst of all of this growth and change, the house that was once my home looked like an older, dated relic of a time that had passed. 

I also saw the church where we attended during our year and a half living there.  Unfortunately, it looked as though nothing had changed much there either…not in the romantic way of “just like I remembered it to look”, but in the older and, frankly, a bit rundown way.  We were there in the middle of the afternoon of a weekday and there was not a single car in the parking lot or a light on in the building.  It was locked tight.  The landscaping was unkempt and the painted portion of the building was beginning to show signs of peeling.  Frankly, I was sad to see it in decline.  When we were part of the congregation, it was a relatively new church born from a merger of two churches in the area.  Now it just looked to be barely surviving in the midst of the thriving area that had engulfed this neighborhood.

After dropping LeAnn off at Midway Airport in Chicago on Saturday, I drove to South Bend.  This journey initially took me through some scary neighborhoods on the Southside of Chicago near the area where I once traveled as part of my work for Exxon two decades ago.  I don’t know whether I just was seeing things differently or whether they had really changed that much.  I imagine it was a little of both.  I do know that some of the romanticizing that I had been prone to offer about this area and that time of my life was met with a new reality like a car careening into a brick wall.

It was a weird mix of the familiar and the unknown as I traveled to South Bend.  While there were continual markers of the old days of my time there, many things had drastically changed.  Some of this was due to the natural change associated with the more than 20 years of distancing from the days when I once lived and worked here.  However, there was also a new awareness of a changed perspective that accompanied this literal drive down memory lane.

Parts of South Bend certainly showed signs of decline.  Some of the most prominent employers from my time there were either out of business or operating under a significantly reduced level of activity.  One of the petroleum distributors with whom I once worked closely had their facility in a state of decline, with rusty fencing and other signs of aging without a great deal of grace.  The area on that side of town had definitely declined with many houses and lots in disrepair.  There were people sleeping in the parks and on a few of the street corners in greater numbers than I recall from my days there.

The area around Notre Dame looked about the same, but definitely with more developed landscaping and some new hotels and other businesses in the immediate area.  As I got closer to my old neighborhood, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Would it look similarly aged as my home in Naperville?  This was the place I called home, where I brought two of my children as newborn babies for the first time, and where many special memories were created.  The sub-division looked good.  Some of the homes looked the same, but almost all of them were in good shape.  When I turned the corner and saw my old place, it looked great.  It had new siding of a very different color than when we lived there, but it looked great.  The yard was in great shape.  The foundation of the home of my time there had been cared for in a way that allowed it to thrive in the present.

As I drove to my old neighborhood, I noticed that my former church had built a new building closer to my old home in what used to be a field during my days there along the main drag running north-south.  After stopping by my old home, I made a quick trip to check out the church and find out when services were scheduled for the next day.  On the sign, I noticed they had another campus where the church originally was located.  The original location was where both Zachary and Kari were baptized.  As I drove to the South Campus, I saw that it was now the Youth and Outreach Center for the church.  Where my children were once baptized, now they play games and eat, romp and have concerts, and serve the needs of the community through an outreach and counseling ministry.

It took a while for all of this to sink in.  I realized that a lot had changed, time had passed, and the church moved forward in new and exciting ways.  I pondered this as I returned to my motel for a night of rest in anticipation of worshiping at their relatively new campus the next morning.  I wondered about how different it would be and whether I would even recognize anyone after such a long time had passed. 

When I got up the next morning, I quickly got ready and checked out of the motel and made the trek across town to the church.  Unfortunately, I got delayed checking out and was running late for the service.  I hurriedly parked and ran into the building to find that worship had already begun.  I grabbed a bulletin from an usher and made my way into the service during the opening hymn.  It was a beautiful, modern sanctuary with all of the latest technology employed.  The two pastors on the chancel area were not familiar to me, of course.  They sang the hymns and other music totally from the screens.  Special music was offered by two men playing a guitar and banjo as they sang “Wayfaring Stranger”.  The Associate Pastor preached the fourth installment in a series on Being Well and Well Being.  This was followed by communion by intinction served at the altar rail by teams of assistants.

I have to admit that I found myself checking out the sanctuary and scanning the congregation for familiar faces as I worshipped.  What impressed me most was the broad range of ages that made up the congregation.  Though there was nothing of particularly note in the service, I had a pleasant worship experience.  I couldn’t help but think about how much had changed since I was part of this congregation.  After the service, I did recognize a couple of faces among the crowd of nearly 500 at this service.  I don’t believe anyone recognized me.  I had led a Sunday School Class, played softball, camped with the camp ministry, headed up several ministry areas, and had actively participated in the life of this church during my 2 ½ years there, but that had been 22 years ago. I did not even make contact with the few I somewhat recognized for fear of taking too much time before continuing my journey onto West Virginia.

As I drove the next 6 hours to West Virginia, I reflected on all that I had experienced over the weekend.  I had been in two communities where I had lived and worked for a total of four years of my life, where two of my children had been born, and where many memories had been forged.  Although there were familiar places and experiences throughout the weekend, most everything had changed significantly.  I thought about the home and church in Naperville that looked most like it did when I was living there 20 years before, but had shown many signs of wear and tear as they survived unchanged, rather than thriving by adapting to the changing surroundings and circumstances of a new day.  I also reflected on the different, but thriving circumstances that I found at both my old home and church in South Bend.  Time had moved on, but the state of the home and the church had changed for the better through properly changing with the circumstances and embracing the opportunities the world held.

It made me think of Holy Covenant and the 25 year anniversary ahead.  I thought about how someone who was part of the church in its early days at Sundown Elementary or who had their children baptized in what now is Covenant Hall would think and feel upon returning now.  I wondered how it would feel for them to see who we are now and are seeking to become in the future.  I thought about how I would represent the unfamiliar pastor who was preaching where others once led the congregation.  As I reflected upon this perspective, I prayed that they would find a church and congregation that was adapting to its changing surroundings, thriving in its changing state of ministry, and faithful to its past, while not living in the past.

I began to see with new eyes the possibility of what God has yet in store for us together.  I see the hope and possibility of greater days ahead with new folks, who we don’t even know now, as part of the ongoing work of God at Holy Covenant.  I hope and pray that they will feel more welcomed and less bogged down than we did at those West Side toll booths.  God is constantly working and moving in the changing landscape of our world.  God calls us to change and thrive in a changing and often challenging environment for ministry.  We may play basketball where we once baptized babies and married couples.  We may serve the hungry where we once ate fellowship meals as a congregation.  We may welcome people who didn’t know we existed or never thought they would find Christ and fellowship within our church family.  We can only imagine and pray to discern what God intends for us to be.

My trip through the places of my past in the Midwest was much more than a trip down memory lane.  I found it to be an eye-opening journey, allowing me to see more clearly the possibility of what can be our future in God’s will and way.  I hope and pray it helps open your eyes and hearts to possibilities that God holds for us.

Advertisement